Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday! I am officially 29 years old. I thought I would feel old today...I don't. Last week I was dreading my birthday. I kept thinking of all the opportunities I didn't take, all the things I hadn't done, all the things I failed at doing, and all the people who are no longer a part of my life for one reason or another. But something has changed. I can't tell you what, because I'm not sure that it's something tangible or explainable. The world feels different today...happier, relaxed, livable. Even though I discovered this morning that I overdrew my checking account (apparently, I need to go back to elementary school math and hone up my skills), I still don't feel that sense of dread and self-deprecation that usually comes along with discovering such an error. I made a mistake (or several as the case may be)...oops. In the grand scheme of life, this one mistake doesn't mean a damn thing and I can't fix it until payday anyway, so no biggie. It is what it is. And you know, things are a heck of a lot easier to manage when you deal with what they actually are and not what they might "mean." I've spent way too much time assessing meaning to meaningless things, I think.

In any case, despite my bruised chin and thumb (I'll remember to use my mitt instead of my face to stop the ball next time I play softball) and my bruised finances, I am content with myself and who I am, or I should say, who I am becoming. What better birthday present than that? Well...cake would be good too, I suppose :-)